Blog Tour | Live Like You Give A F***!: Create The Life You Want Now Not Later by Nicola Findlay

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The No Nonsense Philosophy for Smart Girls who Want to Smash It!

Boss a bitch? Diet a hot mess? Broke after payday? Ghosted on tinder?

If life feels like a constant hangover why not take five f**king minutes for yourself to decide what you really want. Slam on the brakes, kick off your heels and unplug from the social media circus.

Stop Surviving – Start Thriving

Live Like You Give A F**K will show you how to create the future you want, not the one that’s been shoved down your throat. It will shake and wake you from the hypnosis of modern living. The triple shot of empowerment, confidence and motivation will unleash the badass in you.

Nicola Findlay is the straight-talking, bold, coaching diva who isn’t afraid to tell it like it is. If you ask her advice about your lame partner she’ll give you a bitch slap, tell you to raise your standards and get rid of that loser.

She’s your best friend, your enemy, your punchbag and your cheerleader. Some people call her a diva, some people call her a badass bitch but whichever you decide you will get results.

WARNING: If you’re afraid of a few swear words on a page put this book down and go cry to your Mama. I’m not here to offend anyone.  I’m here to tell you how to rock your world, and because I’m so passionate about it I’ll be shouting and swearing from the rooftops.

Purchase from Amazon UKhttps://www.amazon.co.uk/Live-Like-Give-Nicola-Findlay/dp/1912262231/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1508170816&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=live+like+you+give+a+fuck

Purchase from Barnes & Noblehttps://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/live-like-you-give-a-f-k-nicola-findlay/1127151814?ean=9781912262236

Live Like You Give A F Cover

Extract

Introduction:

It is so freeing to learn the ability to say no to others that I really think they should teach it in schools. Saying no to others so you can say yes to yourself is an important tool you need to acquire to look after number one.

The Power of No:

Your gut will instantly tell you if you want to go to the party, or not, lend the money or help friends paint their house on your only day off, so listen to it. If you haven’t got the heart to say no to someone’s face on the spot, don’t give an answer straightaway. Use the delay tactic and postpone your refusal to a later time with a simple, ‘I’ll have to let you know later’, ‘I need to check with X’ or ‘check my diary’. That gives you a bit of breathing space if you need it. To be honest I use this one all the time so I have a chance to step away from the person and really decide for myself what I want to do.

Once you have decided: “No, I don’t want to go to your bullshit housewarming party because I‘ve had a draining week and I’d rather stay in, on the sofa in my pyjamas with a large glass of Merlot and get my Netflix on,” you can let them know. You don’t have to be brutally honest, let’s not hurt anyone’s feelings, but at the same time you DO NOT need to justify your decision making to other people, you are a grown ass adult, with your own mind. Some people feel so bad saying no to others they feel the need to over-explain or exaggerate why they are saying no. Don’t do that, it’s totally unnecessary and you end up with crappy excuses that sound like: “I really want to come, I’d love to, but my neighbours have gone on holiday and I’m looking after their dog and I have to walk it every two hours and it needs to eat my homework and I’ve got to clean up their place because it trashed their house and they’re back tomorrow.” Fucking liar, people can probably smell the bullshit coming out of your mouth. If it’s a no, just say NO. Let’s do this the dignified and refined way. A simple: “No I can’t make it but thank you for the invite,” will suffice, doing the thing that you really don’t want to while inwardly moaning like a bitch the whole time.

A ‘No’ to others means a ‘Yes’ to yourself.”

The more you learn to listen to your gut and say no, the easier and more natural it becomes. So I freaking dare you, the next time some schmuck asks you to help them again or attend some crappy event, or ask for a loan, stand in your truth, smile and just say ‘no’. This is a wonderful gift to yourself to ensure you are not being taken advantage of and are focusing on doing the things that are truly important to you.

What is something you want to say a big fat NO to?

How can you say no in a constructive way?

How will you feel once you’ve said no?

What do you gain by saying ‘no’?

Now you can say no to others you can also start saying no to yourself. You might think why the hell would I want to do that? I’m going to sound like my mother now but you’d do it for your own good. You might want to say no to using apps on your phone just before bed, you might want to say no to the lie-in you want so that you can be productive, or no to your negative self-talk. Whatever it is, use the same tactics above to point the finger at yourself and say ‘no’.

Now you can say no to others you can also start saying no to yourself. You might think why the hell would I want to do that? I’m going to sound like my mother now but you’d do it for your own good. You might want to say no to using apps on your phone just before bed, you might want to say no to the lie-in you want so that you can be productive, or no to your negative self-talk. Whatever it is, use the same tactics above to point the finger at yourself and say ‘no’.

I want to leave the cheekiness behind for a moment and get real serious with you. As well as being able to say no to the annoying stuff you don’t want to do, it is imperative that you have the confidence to assert your ‘no’ if you need to when it comes to sexual, physical and emotional relationships. It really angers and concerns me that people are in situations where they are being taken advantage of and I want you to own the skills to say no when you need to because it might help to protect you.

If someone is trying to encourage you to have sex and your gut is screaming out loud: “This doesn’t feel right,” that’s because it isn’t so please just say: “Stop and No!” It’s OK not to be ready. If you want to have sex and use a condom and he doesn’t, say: “I respect my health so you have two choices, wrap it up or fuck off!”

Nicola Photo 1

About The Author

Nicola Findlay, a former British Airways air stewardess, is a qualified neurolinguistic practitioner and accredited international coach with over a decade of experience. She runs personal group workshops, 1-2-1 coaching and corporate training working with companies such as Specsavers and Stella & Dot. Previously she managed the Brighton branch of Life Clubs where she ran weekly personal development workshops with different themes each week before starting her own company The Coaching Diva in 2015. In 2018 she is planning a series of live events in London and New York including; Attracting Mr Right and Live Like You Give A F**K! Nicola lives with her 7 year old daughter and husband in Surrey, England

Website – https://www.nicolafindlay.co.uk/

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/nicolafindlaytcd/

Author Article!

Back in the day, my reading materials consisted of ‘OK’ and ‘Hello’ magazine, that was about it. I loved the trials and tribulations of the celebrity gossip world.

One day I got handed a self-development book, the first I’d ever seen. And was told on very good authority that it was quote; ‘Amazing’, at the time I thought; ‘Yeah, right!’. It spent a few days dumped in my bedside drawer, then one evening with a silent sigh and roll of my eyes I thought; ‘OK then, let’s see what all the fuss is about’. It had me at the first page and I was gripped. It was that cliched situation where I didn’t want to put it down, especially as these words were so new and inspiring to me. I was thinking; ‘Hold up, wait a minute. How come I’ve never read any of this kind of great stuff before?’. It blew my mind, hence I had to get another fix.

This first ‘self-development’ book led to another and another and quickly became the start of a new awesome journey. It was a journey where I learned to look at what was right instead of wrong. Where my expectations were high instead of low and a realisation that I was in control of my thoughts, actions, and behaviours which all had the potential to change the course of my life.

My journey continued and took in numerous other great classic books and then morphed like lighting speed into training courses, weekend seminars, studying neuro-linguistic programming and teaching weekly personal development workshops. After spending endless hours talking to girlfriends and clients alike about the problems they were having in their lives I realized that not everyone had caught the ‘positive’ bug like I had.

They didn’t seem to know that they should put themselves up not down and they didn’t know how to practically make things better or brighter, they just wished and hoped for change. The thing that astounded me the most was the utter lack of confidence in these beautiful women who on the surface seemed so strong and independent. But when I dug a little way down the confidence cracks were there and it would take a lot of work to restore them.

Boosting confidence in women is a must because men already have it in spades and us ladies need to catch up. Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In describing the research which found that; ‘men will overestimate their abilities but women routinely underestimate theirs even though our abilities are about the same’. These kinds of differences might start out as minor occurrences such as not putting your hand up in class but this eventually will lead to more men being in the boardroom, so the time to up our confidence game is now. I decided that I was going to write a book to address these issues and put the mojo back in motivation. It would be a modern day manual for the women who want to smash it but don’t know how. Hell Yeah! I want the pages within; ‘Live Like You Give A F**K!’ to reach the women who need the triple shot of confidence, motivation and empowerment so they can step up, shake their ass, and do their thang. I love that each person can customize the pages by working through the exercises in a way that’s relevant to them. So whether their boss is a bitch, their diet’s a hot mess or they’re getting ghosted on Tinder they can apply their own situations and then create the changes that will make a massive difference to their lives. Although a confidence theme runs throughout the book my particular favourite nuggets are those regarding gratefulness and self-love. For me, it all starts with gratefulness.

Why would you be rewarded with anything better if you’re not happy with what you’ve already got.? It’s so easy these days to fall into the ‘poor me’ syndrome but if you hit the pause button for a second and really open your eyes you’d be astounded by the things we have to be grateful for and I think until you can put that into practice you’ll never have a fulfilled life.

My book is a few weeks away from being published., two years on from the day I dared to make a bold decision to write. It has been a tough journey but one I can look back on with a feverish smile. It’s taught me patience, that you shouldn’t drink and write and that a writer will never think they’re work is complete. Success for me and the biggest motivation behind the book would be the power to inspire a stranger. Receiving an email from a woman who’d been motivated by my book to make an amazing change, would make me happier than a fat kid with cake.

Nicola Findlay Author of; ‘Live Like You Give A F**K!’

www.nicolafindlay.co.uk

Insta: nicolafindlaytcd

 

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