To The Guy Who Called Me Fat

You and your friends were hanging round outside the ladies toilets – I don’t know why, it’s not exactly the nicest part of the club to hang out in. You all looked at me as I walked out, headed back to my group on the dance floor. I don’t know what was going through your mind but I didn’t look your way – cautious that some guys take a casual look as a sign you want to sleep with them and bug you the rest of the night. Cautious that sometimes a ‘wrong look’ can mean being followed home, or a trip to A&E. So I didn’t even look your way. Then as I was just about to head through the door I heard it – you called me fat. Not even a casual comment to your friends – you spoke straight to me and called me fat.

Why? Was it because I hadn’t looked at you and you were insulted? Is it because I’m not stick thin like a lot of the girls in the club? Or were you just a dick who has nothing better to say?

What you didn’t know is that I’d spent almost an hour before leaving the house trying to find something I thought I looked okay in. You didn’t know that I’d kicked my boyfriend out the room because I was struggling (and failed) not to cry. You didn’t know that I’d picked a clutch bag big enough to hide my stomach. Or that I’d walked in to a bathroom full of gorgeous, tiny girls just before and had almost cried in the toilets. 

You didn’t know that I’ve been worrying about going on holiday because I’ll have to wear shorts and my legs wobble. Or that I worry that I’ll get cheated on because everyone else I see is thinner and prettier, especially his female friends. You didn’t know all this and I wonder what would have changed if you had? 

I’m a big believer in being nice to people – the only thing I wanted to say to the skinny girls in the club is how nice their dresses were. You don’t gain anything from being horrible to people. I know that I haven’t been to the gym as much as normal. I know that my legs could do with some toning. I know I’ve always struggled with my arms, no matter how much exercise. But I also know that it’s none of your damn business. 

Last time we went to this club someone called me a slag, but it didn’t bother me because I knew it wasn’t true. This time it hurt. Why does anyone think it’s okay to go round insulting people they haven’t even spoken to? 

I don’t know who you are to tell you straight to your face but listen to me when I say I don’t care what you think. The opinion of one dickhead who saw me for less than 10 seconds doesn’t bother me. Instead I’ll listen to my boyfriend who said I was beautiful, even when ugly crying on him. I’ll listen to my family and especially my sister who looks up to me. I’ll listen to the stranger on the street who stopped to say that I have lovely eyes and my boyfriends friends who said I was pretty. This post is all about looks but we’re all so much more than what’s on the outside. I’m content with who I am and I’ll be more than happy being the bigger person.

The dress I was wearing at the club


Love Roxy xx

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Blog Challenge Day 25 | Something I’m Currently Worrying About

I know that it’s past June and I didn’t complete all the challenges on time BUT I’m going to finish it anyway! 5 posts to go!

I’m a worrier and my mind tends to work in overdrive so I find it hard to just ‘stop thinking about things’. There’s so many things I’m stressing about but I’ll pick just one rather than go in to everything! At the moment I’m worrying about my last accountancy exam. I think I’ve forgotten a lot of the work leading up to this one which will make passing it even harder. I’m going to have to re-learn a lot and I only have until December to pass it as they’re changing the syllabus after that.

SO MUCH PRESSURE!

I don’t even like what I’m studying which makes it harder. But I have to remember how useful it will be, and once I’m done I can focus on the events planning instead which is so much more fun!

Love Roxy xx

 

 

 

 

Life Update & July Goals

Happy July! I can’t believe we’re in the 7th month of the year already – it’s going by so fast! July is quite a big month for me so I thought I’d give a few updates as to what’s going on.

Work

I’m leaving my current job and my last day is the 14th July! I handed my notice in a few weeks back now but I’m nearly at the end, just another 10 working days left. There are bits that I like about this office and the company, but not enough to stop me doing a little happy dance out the door. I’m grateful though as it was a different role than I was used to and I now have experience covering the whole of finance, so I know exactly what to look for in my next job. I have a few weeks off now before I start applying again!

Holiday

I mentioned that Matt and I were trying to book a holiday somewhere and we managed to book one – woooo!! We’re going to Corfu on the 16th July for a week and I’m so excited. We’re all inclusive which means plenty of cocktails and chilling by the pool, but we’re also going to do a few excursions and actually see some of the Island. I’d love to go see some of the more historical sites, and a few less touristy bits. Maybe even a boat tour if I’m feeling brave! Then more cocktails of course haha.

Holiday

Moving

We’re so close to getting our US visa’s through now. Now that my job is done I’ll be moving back homeΒ  at the end of the month ready to go to the States! I don’t know timescales but I will keep you all updated. It does mean I only have one more month living around Matt, then it’ll be just a couple of times a month when we get the chance to visit each other. Fingers crossed it won’t be as hard as I think it’s going to be!

Studying

Studying is on the back burner for this last month whilst I enjoy the holiday and time with Matt – once August starts I have 3 weeks to use as full time study days which I hope will get me slightly closer to the end of this accountancy exam. Then I can focus fully on the Wedding/Events diploma 😍

July Goals

  • Set aside more time for reading – I’ve been too busy to get much done recently.
  • No studying!
  • 100 Instagram followers (currently 75)
  • 200 blog followers – I’m almost there!

What have you guys got going on this month?

Love Roxy xx